I went to the UPS store to mail something today. Upon reaching the register to get a stamp from the cute cashier guy, I started choking. And I mean "I feel like I'm going to pass out" choking. Out of no where, without any warning. I try to remain subtle and charming, but I doubt anyone, not even Kate Middleton herself, could appear graceful while choking for no reason. Cute-cashier-guy quickly ran to the back and returned with the most darling little bottle of water I've ever seen. But I was basically dying, so I stopped admiring the stubby plastic container and started drinking up. It suppressed the violent coughing long enough for me to purchase a stamp and croak out, "Thank you." I ran back to my car, where I let loose and coughed until I felt like I was about to throw up. Once I was finished and able to breath somewhat normally again, I mistakenly glanced in my rear-view mirror.
My mascara had run evvvverywhere and I looked like a pummeled raccoon. On top of that, my hair was a mess; it appeared as though I had stuck my head out the window of a moving train (how did that happen?).
So basically, there's no way that guy wasn't attracted to me, right? ;-)