A Slightly Disjointed Post About the New Year
Sometimes in life, there's a point in time when everything stops and you think to yourself, "I want to remember this exact moment years from now. How I'm feeling, what I'm going through, everything." Sometimes you do it because that moment in your life is worth remembering. Other times, you do it just for kicks, to see if it's possible. Unfortunately, for me, it rarely works.
But every so often, without any planning or preparation, almost like deja vu, but not quite there yet, you do remember. And you're taken back to a specific point in your life, to a specific purposefully-developed thought. Welcome to my December.
Who else is ready for 2011 to be over with and finished? I lived it well and I'm not saying it was a horrible year for the books, but it certainly wasn't my favorite. And I knew that would happen. But not the kind of "knew that would happen" that basically means you made it turn out that way. I remember thinking, one year ago (along with the question of whether I would remember the instant I made the thought), that the upcoming year was going to be hard because it was going to involve a lot of changes. And when life is hard, it always means you're gonna grow. Not always something you look forward to, but always something you cherish after the fact.
Maybe another reason this year felt a little different is because I turned 25 years old. I didn't cry on my birthday because I think I'm getting "old." I didn't dread falling over into that new category on like, every survey and form you fill out. I am no longer a check mark in the "18-24 years old" box. I loved that box. But my new box will be just as great (and probably greater, but I won't realize that until I make it to the next one, right?). And I'll let you in on a little secret. I count everything in quarters, like the money. It's a quirk. When I'm in the kitchen and I have to double a recipe that calls for 3/4 of a cup of sugar, I just think to myself, "Okay, that means I need six quarters worth of sugar."
So this year, I made it to the end of my first quarter. After I put it into some metaphorical piggy bank, I was given a brand new silver coin. I probably should have written this post in November, but because my birthday falls near the end of the year, I always feel like I don't officially change age until the first of January. And now that 2012 is nearly here, that specific thought in my 24-year old brain feels so far away...
I have hope that the new year will bring great things; for the sake of the world, for the sake of our country, for the sake of my life. Undoubtedly, there will be more surprises waiting around every corner. But I don't feel the same way I did last January. My word for 2011 was "change." And I'm pretty certain my word for 2012 will be "possibility."
And maybe it's a numbers thing, but doesn't "20-12" look and sound and feel so much better than "20-11?" I think that's a good sign.