Will I Remember Writing This?

Today, I got a root canal. The rebel tooth is finally finished. Never to return again (he seemed pretty freaked out when he left).

First off, I want to say that I woke up bummed out not because of my appointment, but because of my hair. It looked awesome today. I had slept on it wet; It was bouncy and curly and full of character and totally touchable. And I was bummed that, on this awesome hair day, I had to get a root canal. But such is life.

The dentist gave me Nitrous Oxide because of my anxiety during any dentist related activity. It was strong stuff, let me tell ya. I remember everything spinning above me. Literally, as though a camera were just twirling around and around. I remember thinking, "If you don't stop breathing this stuff through your nose, you will die." But it wasn't a scary thought; I really couldn't have cared less. But I did start breathing through my mouth during those times. And I would inevitably come back to reality for a brief period of time. I would feel the strange file that was being pushed and pulled in and out of my tooth. I kept hearing the assistant clear her throat.

And then I realized that I didn't want to hear any drills or feel any picks against my teeth. So I closed up my throat and inhaled the sickeningly sweet gas. But that started to make me nauseous. Sea sick. And then I would start breathing through my mouth again because I hate being sea sick and I didn't want to be lost into oblivion (which is what I was sure would happen if I kept breathing in the Nitrous).

And then I woke up and couldn't decipher the difference between dream and reality. I kept thinking of Inception. And I didn't really believe anyone when they spoke to me. I was suspicious. I kept wishing I had my own totem, so I could figure out what was real and what wasn't real.

And then I ended up at home, on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet. Violently throwing up and craving oxygen. I just wanted air and clarity. But when my head finally became clear, I was so nauseous I thought the world was going to end. So I threw up again and felt it burn all the way up my throat.

And then I was on the couch, underneath a purple blanket watching How Do You Know with Reese Witherspoon. I was drinking Gingerale.

And then I fell asleep.

And then I woke up and felt sane again. I thought back on the day and felt so uneasy. And hungry. Starving. Famished. I had eaten zero calories all day. Actually, I had eaten NEGATIVE calories (considering how much I threw up). And all I wanted was pizza.

I didn't want the delivery kind. I wanted the take-it-home-and-bake-it-yourself kind. So I drove (foolish) around town trying to find Papa Murphy's. I didn't hit anything. I didn't come close to hitting anything. I was just slow. I figured driving would be completely okay, because it had been hours since the root canal. But after I started driving, I realized just how relaxed I felt. And my goal turned into: Pizza. Home. Safe.

And now I am home. Satisfied from my pizza but slightly freaked out from driving on a Nitrous buzz.

The nausea isn't completely gone. I feel it lurking somewhere. So I might go lay down now.

The best thing about this day? Somewhere in the midst of everything above, I got a root canal.


The Superintendent's Wife said...

I hope you are feeling better and by the morning it will all be just a distant memory.

Sara Zahn said...

Next time you are buzzed on something crazy and you are craving pizza, just walk down the hall and I can drive you there. You be nuts! ;)