9.11.2010

A Realization

Before, I felt that taking photos all the time meant missing out on real experiences. I assumed it was merely a distraction. After time, my feelings started to grow in the opposite direction. If I go to an event without my camera, I will probably still have a great time, a time that will quickly diminish into memory after the night is over. And that is okay. Sometimes, it is necessary to leave the camera behind and just be present. But through the lens, I notice the little things that make life worth everything. I look for moments worth capturing, and I find them everywhere.

The way a man eats his hot dog at a baseball game could mean the world to someone who loves him. A child's head resting on her mother's shoulder, a balloon floating up into the sky, a teenage girl looking through a glass window into a store full of beautiful clothing, it all means something. I am infatuated with photographing those moments that describe a person's thoughts and feelings.

I love photographing families, weddings, engagements, etc. But my dream? To be the one who captures a photo worth the cover of a magazine like Time or National Geographic. The one who is able to photograph a simple, natural expression in a person's eyes that completely defines a situation or idea. To be the one responsible for saying that "thousand words" without speaking at all.

Nothing posed. I crave unscheduled, unplanned... real. I am all about candid and real. I will still enjoy shooting portraits for families and such, but what I really want is to just follow someone around and snap a photo when they aren't looking back at me. Interestingly, children are completely different. When a child looks at the camera and gives a smile, it is almost always genuine in one way or another. By noticing the camera, they show their real selves. Adults, not so much. I throw it into the category of Santa Claus, super-imaginations, and a specific ease of faith. Children have something that we, grown ups, have lost along the way.

But back to the main point. Do I really want to start my own photography business right now? Make it official with business cards and a pricing list and everything? No. It is simple. The reason I haven't started yet isn't because I am afraid. It is because I don't want it. I am still trying to figure out how to use my love for photography in the best way possible, but I am getting closer each day. Basically, I am more of a photo-journalist at heart. And I think I have known that the entire time. Or at least my mother tells me I have. I had just forgotten for a while.

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